Monsieur_LeBehemoth (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} mrbehemoth) wrote,@ 2009-04-23 05:54:00 |
|
A Letter
Dear Bogan,
I'm hoping you received the short note I sllipped under your windscreen wiper last week while your car was parked in between two legally parked cars in Parents with Prams spaces. Just in case you didn't, or in case you've forgotten the gist of it, here are the main points made:
1. This is not a parking space.
2. You are a retard.
3. You should learn to drive.
Point 2, especially, is one which you should keep in mind basically for the rest of your life. Keep it close, hug it to your tracksuit-clad, Winfield Blue-smelling bosom and NEVER FORGET IT. Let me go over that point again:
You are a retard.
You're not a retard merely because you are a dimwitted bogan who so revels in your sheer, unadulterated, originality-free white-trashiness that you actually have a Collingwood flag in the rear window of you car. It's not simply the fact that when driving said car, you hold up five other drivers because you can't park your car in less than six tries. It's not simply because you are a leather-faced middle-aged halfwit with a gaggle of repellent, flea-bitten children traipsing around behind you.
It's because when you parked your car, you parked it BETWEEN PARKING SPACES.
There were two parking spaces, side by side. Each one had a car in it. The white line between these cars signified the division between said spaces. It did not signify a special, "bogans-only" parking space just for you. The fact that Parents with Prams spaces are wider than normal ones is to allow easier access to doors and boots. It does not represent a challenge to you: "See if you can fit in here". In summary, next time you are in a carpark, remember that the lines are for parking between, not either side of.
Also remember, every minute of every day, point 2.
You stupid fucking retarded brainless fuckheaded bitch.
Dear Bogan,
I'm hoping you received the short note I sllipped under your windscreen wiper last week while your car was parked in between two legally parked cars in Parents with Prams spaces. Just in case you didn't, or in case you've forgotten the gist of it, here are the main points made:
1. This is not a parking space.
2. You are a retard.
3. You should learn to drive.
Point 2, especially, is one which you should keep in mind basically for the rest of your life. Keep it close, hug it to your tracksuit-clad, Winfield Blue-smelling bosom and NEVER FORGET IT. Let me go over that point again:
You are a retard.
You're not a retard merely because you are a dimwitted bogan who so revels in your sheer, unadulterated, originality-free white-trashiness that you actually have a Collingwood flag in the rear window of you car. It's not simply the fact that when driving said car, you hold up five other drivers because you can't park your car in less than six tries. It's not simply because you are a leather-faced middle-aged halfwit with a gaggle of repellent, flea-bitten children traipsing around behind you.
It's because when you parked your car, you parked it BETWEEN PARKING SPACES.
There were two parking spaces, side by side. Each one had a car in it. The white line between these cars signified the division between said spaces. It did not signify a special, "bogans-only" parking space just for you. The fact that Parents with Prams spaces are wider than normal ones is to allow easier access to doors and boots. It does not represent a challenge to you: "See if you can fit in here". In summary, next time you are in a carpark, remember that the lines are for parking between, not either side of.
Also remember, every minute of every day, point 2.
You stupid fucking retarded brainless fuckheaded bitch.
